ANGER IS NO LONGER A WASTED EMOTION

So, as per the request of the cutest Nick I've ever known, the gory details of the breakup:

Once there was this girl, who met this boy, let's call him Random DJ, because he was, you see he was supposed to be a one-night stand. That was four years ago. I wasn't looking for love, but maybe it was looking for me, and I fall hard; I'm like a heroine addict for that shit. After nine months of pining, we were together. For three years. There were problems along the way, some of which I ignored, but most of which we fixed. In the end he decided that we "weren't meant to be together" and that "he has a lot of personal stuff to work out" and chooses to do that alone. Which I have figured out to mean: I don't love you anymore. This came after three months of kinda thinking about it, which I was not privy to by any means. Except for the unfortunate incident that I do not speak it's name. (come on, your smart cookies, you can figure it out) So, it's sounds like your average break up, and call me lame for thinking I'm special in the world,

BUT SARAH WARD SAYS I'M NOT LAME-SO THERE!

There are just times when the entire universe and every facet of your body and soul tell you that something is right-this was one of those times. But I saw it coming, I still see it coming, this is not the end- no matter how much you'd like to think it-

But then there is free will, and he certainly used his. Free will is funny, I am starting to believe that we can really fuck up life's path by the choices we make. HMM. That's it. It is the last time I will tell it. until the memoir that is

So, now I am going through the phases, or as Dave made me aware of: the cycles. I have recently entered anger, and continue to cycle between it and hurt/pain, bordering on acceptance. I do have one thing to report from the anger phase though:

If you could show one inch of emotion about this right now, that would be fantastic, I appreciate your concern, but the fact that it is dripping with patronizing denial is doing neither of us any good. Deal with your shit. Two weeks and one decision, no matter how big does not equal three years my friend. Stop being a robot with your emotions.

There I'm done. I feel better now.

On the upside lovelies, it is officially spring in the city, the smell of street meat melds with the sun beating down on Young Street, and I have just gotten my first mani/pedi of the season. It has arrived- welcome!