ROUND TWO

Alright, alright, I am getting back on the horse, well, really I have always been on, just had to grip into the stirrups a bit more.

So, interesting facts of the week:

1. Teacher guy has now evolved to dirty teacher guy as our online relationship over MSN went into the world of dirty MSNing, hot I gotta admit. We are supposed to have a date on Thursday, we'll see where it goes.
2. Another online boy asked me out, after a few email exchanges, coffee is being worked out for this upcoming week, we'll call him computer boy.
3. A boy, now called music boy, I met then chatted with for an 8 hour period, all good chemistry, as much as cyber space can offer, is now ignoring me-What gives?

Overall I am feeling less of the crazy, which is good. I still have my moments, but I just have to remind myself that it's ok, you can't let it make you crazy, it has nothing to do with your value as a person. This is like an exercise in self-esteem, like one of those books that were popular in the late 90's to help teens deal with low self-esteem caused by grunge music.
I did wake up one morning this week and realized that I was a) putting a lot of unnecessary stress on myself to get a man, when I don't even know if I want a serious relationship and b) putting a lot of unnecessary expectations on people I don' t even know.

I've reached a place where I can think of men as a side project, because I have many other important things to work on like my career and my fitness goals and my writing. It feels refreshing to think this way, after years of only focusing on men, and one man imparticular.

I do have my moments though, it's not all sunshine, and non-crazy, but I just gotta hold on tight to the saddle and ride my own trail.