HOLIDAY LESSONS

Upon this season, I am contemplating what is really important to me, how I choose to use my energy and spread my love. In the past few months I have received so much that I have wanted for so long. My play is getting a staged reading at the end of January, and two weeks ago, I got offered a job that will take me travelling around Europe, and hopefully beyond. It was quite overwhelming when all this landed, I was spinning. That is a funny thing about us humans. We never really think that we can get what we want. We think that bad things will always happen. But really all it takes is a little faith, and anything is possible. Anything. I have been putting my energy and what some would call prayers, others just faith towards a few things that I really want in life, and thus far, it is working. I'm no guru, but there is something there to be had, the universe is full of possibility everyday, we just have to grab it.

On the other note, when it comes to people, we think we deserve to own them, we feel like if we have the honour of being with someone, involved with someone, that they belong to us. But really we only own ourselves, our own hearts, and only have control over where we choose to throw the power of that heart. This topic has come to a head with me this week. I am at home and here, I have a lover, but he is in a relationship, an open relationship, so it is all legal. This week I had a bout of jealousy towards the other "special" ladies in his life. This took me back a bit, because although I do adore him, it had never been on that level for me, I knew what I was entering into, but still the jealousy came. Which is natural I know, but still unnerving. As we discussed it, he brought up his belief that we always think we can own people, but really, we only have them for the time and the conditions that we do, so instead of worrying about when they will leave, or what you don't have, why not enjoy the amazing thing before you. Refreshing thought isn't it?

The real issue is, that he treats me how I have always wanted to be treated, he likes me for all that I am, and truth be told, that is addictive to me, as I have been starved for that from men in the past. Are we remembering my insecurities of not being good enough, BINGO! But the thing is, I have someone who will do that all the time, if I let her, ME. And that is the true lesson in all of this. My lover has reminded me that there are people out there that will see me and love me for everything that I have, but even if they all go, I should still be standing in my own corner. Always.

So, upon this the day before, the day before Christmas, I am going to resolve to love what I have, love what I am, and get excited for what is to come.

Happy Holidays everyone!