PROPAWHAT?!

So I was watching an episode of CSI Miami, which, in my opinion is the worst CSI, mostly due to David Caruso being physically unable to say a line in any other way than dramatic cop-guy personae. The episode starts off as normal, girl gets killed at this charity date auction, the detectives suspect the guy who's running the auction, turns out he's a drug dealer, cool gadgets are used, the same old thing for CSI. Then, it takes an odd and unexpected turn.

We find out that the guy has been selling drugs and hosting fake charity auctions because his family has been taken by terrorists in order to black mail him into funding his organization. We then are taken to the interview of the girl who was pretending to be the guys girlfriend. Turns out she's apart of the terroist organization too! In her interview she actually says "My world believes that America should die" Now if this isn't bad enough she is very beautiful and dressed in a sultry red dress, and makes eyes at Caruso when being taken away to jail. Lesson learned: The middle east is a seducing whore who can't be trusted. What?!

The episode ends with a truck full of explosives headed for a a nuclear power plant being headed off by Caruso and his band of merry men. The clincher? Caruso is the one that does the snippering. I wasn't aware that the CSI department of the FBI was running low on cash so couldn't afford to hire a sniper! Also, there's this whole part where Caruso just kinda steals the
case from Homeland Security, who is represented by a black woman. Like "oh silly you, I'm so smart and sexily jadded, I'll handle this" pat, pat on the head woman.

What has happened? I was aware that propaganda long ago took over our media and news airways, but mindless entertainment? This American agenda is going too far. I only have one clear channel, and CTV shows CSI like it is going out of style. I will have to continue to turn to TV on DVD for my fix of mindless relief.

In other news, The DJ is seeing someone new. It's been a weird week. Dealing ok. The support from my loved ones has been astounding. Thank you all. Really, thank you. I am proud of dealing with it in a very adult manner, finding healthy things to help me through. Also, told him we can't be friends right now, and that was really hard. But it is all apart of this getting back to me thing.

BIRTH OF A REALISTIC OUTLOOK

So birthday month started off with drama and turkey and martinis, too many martinis.

Drama because DJ and me got into a fight at his party, more on that later.

Then JennyLynn cooked us amazing dinner and we drank wine all night and chatted and listened to good music, it was everything I love about Jenny in one sitting. MMM Jennylicious!

Holly's bday was on Thursday. Martini's and good times had by all! MMM Dirty Martini. And hot, hot bar owners.

Went out with the DJ last night to talk about what happened. There was some yelling, some tears, some almost kissing which he stopped, showing the willpower of a Olympian.

Sex in the City once asked "Do you need drama to make a relationship work?" also it has asked "Can you be friends with an ex?" Maybe the two go hand in hand. I know that with the DJ it seems we need some kind of intense emotional goings on in in order to relate to each other. I wonder if we will ever be just friends. The real thing that I discovered is that it is most likely not an us thing, it is a me thing. I need to keep the drama to keep the connection, or in order to keep me in the forefront of his mind. I need him to know that I am hurting or mad or fantastically happy.

Everything I do is related to you.

That is really fucked up, well, fucked up in a normal, with reason kind of thing. I had never realized how a person can teach you behavior, how you can get into this pattern and not even realize it. Through the talk we realized that we were pretty disfunctional, but that also we had an amazing time together. This I hope means, that after the dust has settled, and the healing is over we will be fantastic friends.

But I also know that I have a lot of things to work through, things I put up on the shelf because I thought being with him was enough to make me happy, fulfilled. It wasn't. The truth is I have felt lost and unfulfilled for the past four to five to maybe even eight years. Now is the time for me. I am going to talk to someone, a professional. Also, as much as I love the social scene, I am going to try to spend more Talia time, because she needs it.

This doesn't mean the wild times are over. I can't pass up a good party. Just more time for me.

I need more of the non-Whitney Houston exhaling.

Breathe out, breathe out.

RAMBLINGS OF A TIRED AS FUCK AMAZON

WHAT THE SHIT!?

When did it become November??? Granted I have been living under a rock of constant work between the theatre and The Harbs. IFOA, closing a show, IFOA, closing a show.
Ah, yes, then there was the four day Halloween extravaganza bender that included a kegger, at which I'm pretty sure I erased full memories of time. So that could be where the last three weeks of October went.

Halloween was amazing, I will post some pictures of my sultry Minnie Mouse costume, as soon as I get them, as my camera punked out on me that week. Ah yes, the sluttiness of Halloween and how we can get away with wearing anything. Hey it works, I got hit on hardcore in that costume, and may have given my number to a cute comedian. Report to follow (hopefully)

Apparently, I only have interest in "non-respected " professionals. DJ, comedian, writer, landscaper at a graveyard. Not that I disrespect, I'm no hatter, but the general public. I wonder when I will meet The Doctor, The Professor.

But not the wannabe Professor because they just take you home and then when you're about to get down announce that they have a girlfriend. What?! Damn you Bear and your references!!! I may have blocked out the girlfriend bit when he first said it-I can't lie-but still don't make it seem like you have some kind of understanding, when you don't.

Whoa, I am rambling, I think it is the booze trying to make it's way out of my blood stream, it's having trouble if you couldn't tell.

What else? Me and the DJ are on a weird track lately, I have had some definite realizations, that my dehydrated brain can not express correctly right now. We are planning another sit down. Let's see how this one turns out, as those of you privy to info know how the last one did!

Ooops!

I have gone crazy!

Also, it's November, which among my lady friends equals birthday month!!! So, I'm sure more stories will arise! Hopefully with pictures!!