A SMALL UPDATE

Lavalife is amazing, I'm serious, do it! No where else can you shop for men, that sounds really superficial, I'm sorry. But it feels true, and come on they're shopping for us too!

You put in what you like and it gives you like 200 options. It's a crazy technologically advanced world we live in.

It is helping me get over this shyness I sometimes suffer from, I guess you can be bold when only on MSN or the phone.

But I feel like I can really be myself, maybe that's my new attitude, not just the lava.

There are some definite cute potentials.

Things I have discovered:

1. There are men out there over 6' that I can meet and aren't in my already, too small dating pool of male friends (not small because they aren't good, small because I, or my best girlfriends have already dated them)
2. I like forwardness, A LOT. Maning up is the sexist thing.
3. JennyLynn has many, many photos of me, 6 of which are now up on my profile.

I am having so much fun, like smiling walking down the street because I'm thinking about what a boy said to me fun. That is some of the best kind to be had.

THIS PROJECT IS SO AMAZING I HAD TO WRITE TWICE IN ONE DAY!

So, my friend Alison, who is fucking amazing started this project on her blog seen here and I am so into spreading love that I had to jump on the bandwagon.

So, send me a comment and I will tell you why I love you so much!

FUN TIMES!!!

A CHANGE DID ME GOOD

I take it back Wayne Gretzky!

Remember that post way back in July I think where I abused you for your Ford commercial line
"change your attitude, change your life"
I sincerely apologize, you were right, I was wrong, it really does work.

It's funny that all this time, I was trying to force myself to let go. And when I just let it come naturally, out of exhaustion, or readiness, or even pain, it just happened. And it feels great.

I felt a major change coming on. Here's a recap of things I have done in the last week because of it:

1. Cut my hair off
2. Entered the world of online dating-oh I'm that girl now
3. Applied for two jobs that I actually want
4. Went to the gym and pushed myself harder than ever before, I am so sore, but my ass is gonna look amazing!
5. Cried and cried about my life with Kev, but then with his help made doable plans in order to reach my goals/dreams
6. Stopped beating myself up when I slip from the plan

It's weird, my shoulders feel light, I am smiling all the time and it's weird. I think I have finally let myself be happy, and successful. It sounds ridiculous, but it is hard to do sometimes.

Number 2 on the list is going to lead to amazing blog posts. It is going well, thanks to Kev, who wrote the majority of my profile, but it actually sounds like I wrote it-bizarre! I think we are the same person, I'm not kidding. I promise to write more details later when stuff starts happening.

ON THE RIGHT FOOT

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

All I have to say is the 2007 is going to be amazing, if the way I started it off is any indication.

Tee hee-Hey! I'm a lady, that's all you get!

I like how I have a touchstone for emotion now. I was starting to get that bogged down feeling that this city gives me sometimes, but I just mediate on the peace that I found at home, and I feel better.

As well, when I returned to my apartment and my roomies I felt truly at home. Me and Kevin have really got this groove going on, he is my saving grace I think. We bitch and laugh and cuddle and joke. It is like having a husband but having sex with other people. For serious though, I couldn't ask for more. Except more Steph (the other roomie), she'll come home eventually I'm sure!

Despite my occasional, ok more than occasional bitterness, I am feeling blessed lately.

On the bad days, I just have to remember that.

As for the DJ, it's so over, and I have finally realized that, and am ok with it. Happy in a weird way. As I wrote in a former blog, the bitterness is just a coping mechanism anyway. And as Jenny wrote, "it could have been anyone, but I'm glad it was him."

I feel better now.